Happy New Year!!! Holy cow, 2018 was no joke. What a year! I know it was a wild one for you guys too.
As I’ve said, moving to Austin from San Ramon was a herculean undertaking. Going through every single personal possession was exhausting, but also interesting. Seeing the life I’ve created reflected in my belongings and in my clutter was a fascinating journey. Letting things go was freeing, and purchasing new things here in Austin was invigorating. It’s been fun to reinvent my surroundings!
Want to know what hasn’t been easy? Coming out of my cocoon socially. Honestly, I have made zero effort to assimilate into my new town and make some friends. I’ll bet that sounds really strange to you. I’m such an extrovert! It was strange to me as well, and for a while I was kinda worried I was becoming depressed, even though I didn’t feel depressed.
What I learned through studying the Myers Briggs personality theory system for several years now is that as an ENFP (Extrovert,iNtuitive,Feeler,Perceiver) I lead with Extroverted iNtuition, but my growth state is Introverted Feeling. That means that I need to get quiet and be introspective about what feels right and true to me to get myself out of a funk. Unconsciously, I’ve been asking myself “who is the woman who lives in this place?” and then weighing and balancing who I am with what I want to become and how I want to grow.
In California, my purpose was clearly defined. I moved in order to grow—to meet new people and travel to new places. Add in this big huge change of becoming an empty nester, and I’ve got the makings of what could look like a midlife crisis. But I’m not in crisis, I’m on a full blown growth trajectory- just like you are! What I learned is that the introverted part of myself needed time to nest and recalibrate before being ready to take on a new identity. What a relief to know that I was actually growing when I was afraid I was being slothy.
What’s interesting to me is that my way of getting out of a funk is not everyone’s way of getting out of a funk. Each personality type has their own unique growth state. For an INFJ like Meredith, my teaching partner for my new video course Becoming Unfuckwithable, her growth state is Extroverted Feeling. As an introvert, when it’s time for her to get her act together, she has to make the choice to take action in the external world. That means she has to make decisions that usually have to do with human connection. For her personality type, realizing that her needs are part of the human collective need is crucial. Sometimes, for her, it’s about saying no to someone else and putting her needs first. It’s that age old “oxygen mask if the plane goes down” metaphor and it isn’t easy. This could feel selfish to her, but it’s how it’s gotta be if she wants to get outta Funkytown!
This is Meredith and I 🙂
Thank you so much, all of you. Thank you for allowing me space in your precious inbox. I know how overwhelmed with information you are, and I appreciate from the bottom of my heart that you let me have a place with you 🙂 I love my peeps more than you could ever know.
Here’s to coming out of our cocoons in 2019!